Important Notice: Hello, my little bunnies! Unfortunately, the payment processor we use to make purchases is temporarily down. I ask for your patience while we move to get things working ASAP! A praise kink is a type of sexual fetish where someone gets aroused from being praised or complimented. The praise one could receive is about your physical attractiveness or something you did good. There’s a wide variety of things you could be praised for, especially in daddy dom-little girl relationships.
All of these phrases mixed in with some cuddles would instantly make me feel safe and my panties soaked. Sprinkle in some intense eye contact, head petting and a simple “good girl?” Just take me now!
It’s no surprise that this kink has gained more attention in recent years, which is heavily influenced with the rise of BDSM and kink communities on social media platforms (like r/BDSMcommunity on reddit!)
I love the idea of being praised for simply existing and being able to write stories has given me the outlet to live out these experiences! Another type of praise kink I’ve been thinking about is reassurance. It goes hand in hand with the daddy dom-little girl dynamic, so let’s dive into it!
While it may sound like a simple concept, reassurance praise kink goes beyond just the usual compliments and words of affirmation that are a part of a healthy DDLG relationship. So, what exactly is Reassurance Praise Kink, and how does it manifest in DDLG relationship?
First and foremost, it is essential to understand that a reassurance kink is not one-size-fits-all for everyone. It can vary from person to person, and what may be considered as reassurance praise for one individual may not be the same for another.
For some, it may involve being called beautiful or handsome, while for others, it may be hearing words of encouragement or appreciation for their achievements. Or both! Depending on the dynamics of the relationship it can range from subtle hints of praise during intimate moments to elaborate role-playing scenarios where the daddy dom takes on the role of the ‘praiser’ and the little as the ‘praisee.’
How this manifests in a DDLG relationship is by the daddy dom providing unconditional love, protection, and care. The little girl is expected to be obedient (or bratty), express love, respect, and gratitude for her daddy dom.The relationship between a daddy dom and a little girl is often seen as a form of age play, but it is much more complex than that in this regard. It involves a deeper level of emotional and psychological and emotional intimacy where the act of praising and soothing one’s partner becomes the source of arousal and pleasure. This kink allows partners to connect on a deeper level, building trust and strengthening their bond, even in the most depraved ways.
Here’s a perfect example of reassurance in a relationship from Step Daddy’s Love 3:
“Have I ever let you down?”
“No,” She avowed softly, lightly shaking her head against the pillow she was resting on, and then grabbed the end of my shirt, seemingly satisfied with herself. “I love you, daddy.”
“Hmmm,” I lay next to her. My heart swelled with joy upon hearing those three little words. And as promised, I watched her laying on my bed, covered in my jizz, and closing her eyes, “I love you, too.”
“Not as much as me…” she retorted.
“You’re right. I love you much more than you can even imagine… You’re such a good girl.”
The heightened pitch in her voice was I all needed to know that she’d begun to blush, “What did I do to make you say that?”
“Well,” I paused in thought, wanting to hone in on a single time, but there were many to choose from. “It’s not just one thing, my love. It’s everything you do. […] You make me feel like I’m the luckiest man in the world, even as you do nothing. Just you being here, existing, brightens my every day. The list goes on, babygirl. I’ll be talking all night.”
I absolutely love soft and sensual praise, but it doesn’t always tickle the darkest, most-degenerate side of my being. The part of me that thrives off of forbidden taboo is why I enjoy the fact that various praise kinks can also be a form of erotic humiliation.
For instance, here’s a very toxic scene I wrote in a Christmas Series, Daddy’s Gift 3:
“What a good girl.” He chuckled, “I knew you’d be wet for me. Your pussy was made for this, little girl. It was begging for my cock when I saw you in the aisle.“ He took a deep breath, and slid a second finger inside of me, filling me completely. “So tight… and warm…” His voice was raspy with desire. He didn’t care that I was crying, and he only moved his fingers deeper, stretching me apart [before I] shook with ecstasy and remorse.
Being praised for doing humiliating things or tolerating acts I wouldn’t normally—just pushing that limit, even if it means the smallest of rewards—gives me blissful gratification.
It’s such a thought-provoking reaction to have. But really though, what is it about these various praise kinks that make my black, pink polka-dotted heart thump in this way? What is the psychology behind this?
You may have just discovered you have a praise kink or maybe you knew all along but needed that validation, which is totally normal!
Yearning for praise and reassurance is a basic human need that can be traced back to our childhood. From the moment we enter this world, we are seeking the approval of our caregivers. As infants, we crave their attention and affection, and their words of praise and reassurance serve as a validation of our existence. As we grow older, this need for validation and approval only intensifies.
In our formative years, we look up to our parents, teachers, and peers for praise and reassurance. Their words of encouragement and approval give us the confidence to navigate through life’s challenges. We strive to excel in our studies, sports, and other activities, all in search of that coveted pat on the back or a ‘well done’ from the people we look up to.
As we enter adulthood, our need for praise and reassurance does not diminish, but instead, it extends to other areas of our lives. We seek validation from our romantic partners, friends, and colleagues. We want to be praised for our accomplishments and reassured that we are on the right path.
This need for praise and reassurance also extends to our self-worth. We often measure our value and success based on the praise and recognition we receive from others. It becomes ingrained in our minds that if others do not see our worth, then perhaps we are not worthy.
But what happens when we don’t receive the praise and recognition we seek? Our self-worth becomes tied to the opinions of others, and we may start to doubt our abilities and value as a person. This can lead to a constant need for validation and approval, which can have a negative impact on our mental health and well-being.
Moreover, this need for praise and reassurance can also stem from childhood trauma. Perhaps someone has experienced emotional or physical abuse, or has grown up in an environment where their worth was constantly questioned. As a result, they develop a ‘praise kink,’ where they crave validation and reassurance to feel worthy and loved.
This can manifest in various ways, such as seeking constant validation from romantic partners, friends, or colleagues, or constantly seeking out achievements and accolades to boost their self-esteem. It can also lead to a fear of failure and a constant need to be perfect, as any criticism or lack of praise can trigger feelings of worthlessness.
It is important to recognize that our self-worth should not be dependent on the opinions of others. It is important to cultivate a sense of self-worth and self-love that comes from within, rather than seeking it from external sources. We must learn to validate and appreciate ourselves, rather than constantly seeking validation from others.
One way to break free from the cycle of seeking praise and reassurance is to practice self-compassion. This involves being kind to ourselves and acknowledging our own worth, even when others may not recognize it. It also involves accepting our imperfections and understanding that we are all human and make mistakes.
Another helpful step is bibliotherapy, which is a therapeutic approach using books as a form of therapy. I prefer the latter, which is why I’ve read and written hundreds of fictional stories about my traumatic experiences.
It’s a way for me to take my power back and relive those non-consensual experiences with the perception of consent since I’m choosing to both read and write these erotic stories. I now understand why so many women have these “odd” kinks, including rape fantasies (it’s more common than you think!)
I’m ecstatic to have created a space where people can explore themselves and I’m happily working toward increasing my free library of smut for those who need some bibliotherapy or an escape from reality!
I hope this article helped you understand yourself just a little bit more! You are not alone and we take baby steps over here! <3
Heal your trauma and never forget to love on yourself consistently. Keep being you! Yayyy!
